I’m not going to say it’s the first thing I did. However, I can’t lie, it was there on my mind. Set in my mental ‘things to do’ list. Weigh yourself postpartum! It’s sad, I know, but the truth. And although, not the reason I came crashing down in one big oversized, hormonal, drippy mess, it is part of why I’ve decided to take on my latest fitness challenge.

161 lbs

That’s how big I was and pretty average to be fair (I’m 5ft ‘7). But it wasn’t spring back like a springbok size and it burned.

Fast forward 9 weeks

and the scales were the least of my problems. In just over 2 months Penelope and Theon had managed to get viral meningitis, which went from exorcism style vomiting to sleepless colicky nights for our little new born. My uni books sat unread and my end of year assignment unwritten. I’d not updated the blog in as many weeks as I had not slept. My anxiety was getting out of hand. Depression was creeping in quite aggressively and to top it all off we had the family (all 6 siblings, our partners, our kids and the grand parents) holiday coming up the following week. A two edged sword. I desperately wanted, no needed the break. The loneliness and strain of not having any friends or family around us was breaking our little family unit and we were all burnt out! But I was fearing a fall out, I knew I’d not be able to handle any kind of bickering. My nerves just simply couldn’t take it.

And so came the holiday week, the babes got better and had a blast with all their cousins, my assignment got submitted, just and with the bare minimum requirements, but done non the less. And I managed to stay out of any unneeded altercations or sibling scuffles, well almost! But most of all, I swam every day, I went for daily walks along the beach and even managed to squeeze in a game of tennis and I slept. Life felt great! The foggy haze, clouding my brain quickly lifted and my shoulders felt light again.

Monday

flew back around as did reality, but not with a single crash landing or face palm in sight! This holiday was more than a break, more than time to be indulgent, for me it was time to reflect and let go of all the hurdles I’d fallen flat on. Like not dropping to a Kate Moss size 8, mere minutes after popping out a small human. Or not keeping LP germ free, not submitting an A star, flawless assignment and just generally not holding my shit together.

week 1

And so, this article, is me picking myself back up, dusting myself off and having another crack at it. Mum life x 2 that is. Starting with getting a personal trainer. Some support and guidance, aimed purely at me! I know my Postpartum blues aren’t because of my pregnancy weight gain, but I think focusing on myself just for a few moments each day (like I did on holiday) is a great way to sustain myself and try to get back to the ME I want to be…

And so here my journey begins…

For the next month, I’m going to be documenting my time with personal trainer Amy Ferris. Every week I’ll update you on my progress, weight loss/gain, meal plans, work outs and let you in on what worked and what flopped. So, lets go! Here’s to a positive change and to Amy being more of a Motivator than a Terminator!